i wish my heart could be as fragile as my bones.
unfortunately i have grown cold to feelings.
i'm sorry that i don't mind them as i should.
doctors have forgotten me and i have picked up their horrible habits.
to all of my friends and family.
don't doubt my love for you.
i love you more than my words or facial expressions can explain.
my blank stares may hurt you.
but in my heart a lot is going on.
my dumb heart doesn't know how to handle all the situations that are going on.
i am overwhelmed.
i feel sick out of disappointment of myself.
so please forgive me.
i may never change.
i hate to blame it on the changes, but sometimes it's all i have left to do.
my diseases have unfortunately made me a monster at times.
the devil tries to play games with my mind. don't help him.
i'm sorry if i've hurt you.
please let love be enough.
because right now it's all i have to give.
if you dont love me for who i am then let me go. please. i will not change. i have come too far. i fight this battle by myself; with my God. don't try to change me. don't discourage me.i should have expected this. it happens every time i am sick. someone leaves. they cannot handle the person i become. i become weak. and they leave me. and it hurts. but if you want to leave. do it now. don't hurt me any longer. make up your mind if i'm worth fighting for.
ReplyDeleteJordy, you're not fighting this battle by yourself hun, you've got people praying for you all the time, fighting with you. I love you sweetheart...so so much. Keep hoping in Jesus.
ReplyDelete*kisses*