Lenny Kensington

Ok- so I’m gonna tell you all about something kind of weird I guess.
About Lenny.
His name is Lenny Kensington and I named him that when I was about 14 years old, has never been changed and I’m not messing with it now. Who is Lenny? He is my future husband. Who is my future husband? Wouldn’t we all like to know.
Welcome to my life. I am Jordyn, the girl who has never had a boyfriend. I like to think that the Lord has been sparing me all these years. I never really had a chance to date, every time the guy was convienient the time was not. AKA- I always got sick when the guys I liked came around. I like to think that I know what I want in a guy, but then my mind will change. I don’t like to admit that I am needy, but sometimes I just want to be cuddled and held. I have never ever wanted a boyfriend more in my life than when I was going through my heart problems last winter. I think it was because I spent so much time alone. Solitude is not my forte, I do not do well on my own. I find myself having bad dreams lately and cannot sleep the rest of the night and I am always thinking, “If I had someone with me, I could go back to sleep.” How nice that would be, to just think that thought and then have someone with you the moment your mind wanders away from that subject. I’ve never had the guy to hold me. The Lord must be saving that special place for my husband, for Lenny. This is where I find myself most selfish. Making a list of what I want in this guy. I guess it’s necessary to know what we all want, but it just feels almost wrong. I know I must keep my standards high though- if I let them down, I would let anyone in. suddenly Jordyn would be on the market and there would be guys at my door. Gross. Luckily for me, there are about zero guys in this town that I would date. So, my near-dating experiences are these: when I was 14 I kinda of liked this guy and he knew it, so he started calling my home all the time and hanging out with me. He started annoying me within a couple days and I began to hate him. That valentine’s day was the worst ever- he called me 14 times that day, asking me out. What a drag! I was so annoyed- I told him never to call my house again and if he did- my dad would talk to him. Well this “liking process” likened unto talks of suicide- he said he loved me so much that if I did not date him that he would kill himself. I simply told him that if he really loved me he would never say such a thing. It got to the point where his mother called me and told me to date him because she was scared of what he might do to himself if he was rejected one more time. My answer consistently was “No”. finally an intervention took place with my youth pastor, his wife, this guy and I. we all sat down a pretty far distance from eachother and fleeced it out. I told him he needed to leave me alone and he just sat there and cried like a baby. And then it was over. And I was frightened to ever like a guy ever again. This dating thing went rogue from the very start. But just to clear that all up- this guy and I remain friends to this very day, no way in hell I would I ever date him, but I do love him as a friend. Near-dating experience #2: Last September I was at Bible College and met this guy. He struck me as everything I had ever dreamed of in a guy, mostly the way he looked.(he looked just like I had always pictured Lenny in my dreams). So we really weren’t that close of friends at all, I had known him probably about a month when my heart problems were getting a tad bit more extreme and I had to go home to have heart surgery. I told him I had to go home and the first thing he said was “well, we need to go on a date!” and I said “Yes” like it was nothing. I am not the girl to say “yes” to anything. That’s just never my answer, but it flowed off my lips like nothing. So we went on a date( which was supposed to be a double date, but the other girl’s date bailed and she was left as just the 3rd wheel of sorts and ended up in the emergency room by the end of the night). The date went well and for the first time in a long time I just felt normal. The fact that this guy still liked me despite my health issues really left an impression that I’ll never forget. People now ask me why I went on that date, as I barely knew this guy. My answer is that

“I truly believed that I was dying, I was prone for a heart attack at any moment and why die before you go on your first date? It only made sense to go.”

And I’m glad that I did. But as we all know, this “beginning of something great” ended 2 days later when I left school for northern California and 1 month later had heart surgery which left us both with empty feelings and if any feeling , it was awkwardness.
Let’s just say that dating is not my forte either.
So, I sit here waiting. Romans 8:25 has become my “dating verse”….I know, how lame.
We wait patiently for what we do not see. I have no clue where my “Lenny” is. Who he is. What he does. And so on. Given up? Never. I just cannot date in red bluff is all I know. My motto for dating is

“Why settle when you can select?”

and it so incredibly true, if we all settled for what was in town, we would have bums for husbands. So, to infinity and beyond! Not that I am necessarily looking, but options are open because the world is much bigger than Northern California. PTL. You know, one of these days, Lenny will come along and I’m sure he’ll read this and tell me that I am desperate. Even still, I will deny it.
Well, hope we all got a laugh out of this. My life is somewhat a circus- enjoy the show.