losing it. lost it.

I can't really explain the way I feel right now.
this morning I was actually looking for a Psalm that could explain the way I feel, but I couldn't.
So, since before I came to Italy, my heart was in Calabria ( my mom's realtives used to live there and some still do). So, one of the first days of school Pastor Brian says "There's gonna be a mission trip to Calabria!" I wanted to cry! I was so ecstatic, such answered prayer, I called my mom immediately and told her.
Today I go to morning devos to see the the Calabria trip is full. AKA- no room for Jordyn.
bummmmmmmmmmer.
yeah, so now I am sitting in this damp, cold basement, with absolutely no motivation to do anything. I try to pray and the words don't come.
Satan is getting a dang foothold in my life and I hate it.he is attacking me-like hardcore.
and it's rainy and cold. I wore my peacoat and scarves this morning. 50 degrees in September- I've never known this.
This is a really melancholy blog I guess, Italy is still wonderful and the people as well.
I communicated yesterday for the first time! YAY! I went to the paper store and asked for 7 postcards and 7 stamps and recieved them and we communicated. it felt good.
so, if you think about me, please pray for me. pray for the tears to go away and for the heart to be restored and for the Lord to give me words to speak to Him, for praises to come from my mouth. I want to be His servant. I just feel empty.
Lord, REVIVE ME!