a hankering in my soul

I never want to be ungrateful for what I have; I think that the day I take for granted what I have it will be taken away. But there are just some things that I just have a longing in my soul for... 1)Build- I just really want to build a house, a treehouse, anything creative, I love anything out of the ordinary and I want to be the maker of it. I just think it would be so awesome to say "Oh yeah, I built my house" 2)Learn Instruments- I learned piano a long time ago but the talent left with the years. Someday when my hands don't hurt so much I'll stay playing and songwriting. I just have to, my soul screams for that to be accomplished. 3)Nursing school/med school- I was born with a passion for medicine. A gift the Lord gave me, only He knew that I'd need that love for all things medical, and find humor and fun even in my tough circumstances. and...I know the Lord calls me to comfort others with the comfort I've recieved. I want to bring hope to the hopeless, wherever that is. 4)Have babies- oh my goodness I know not all people are like me but when I see a baby, hold a baby, it genuinely makes my day. I dream of my own babies, to have one of my very own, one I don't have to give back. A couple years ago when I was diagnosed with this terrible disease I was told I shouldn't have babies because the disease is spread just like an STD would be or any auto-immune disease(Lyme is actually a lot like AIDS) and I decided for myself and cried for weeks over the thought that I'd never be pregnant, have my own mini-me, or be able to provide my husband with his own flesh and blood. Over the year I've come to be content with the thought of adoption, even though I really think the Lord will come back before I ever get married and am ready for babies. Anyway, anyone who knows me knows that little ones are my heart...and I am so glad to have many preggo friends! I am blessed, I have been given much and much has been taken away. I know one day the Lord will return strength to me; and with that strength I will be able to give back to Him whose given me life.