i'll be hiding.

Appparently no one knows that I am hurting.
Appparently the hurt behind my eyes didn't even occur to my parents.
Well, we fleeced it out.
My mom told me that, "Not many people can tell that you're not OK, because you always appear smiling, how should anyone know how to help you...you're happy"

What I have figured over the years is that not many people can see past a smile, but there are few on this earth that can look straight into your eyes, they can see behind your eyes, they can see the tears that are hiding. That are hiding behind a smile made of fraud and bogus feelings.
Not many people can figure me out. The smile will kill, but I am not about to go to church or the grocery store moping like an idiot. I'll fake it until I die. I'll be hiding behind these pearly whites until someone can see past them.

It all comes down to trust. who do you trust to tell your feelings to? Well, to tell the truth, I really don't trust anyone. It'll get out someday. People who are genuine, people who are sincere will figure it out for themselves without a word coming from these lips of mine. It's worked out good for the past 5 years, why not continue?
People don't care enough to use common sense.
But the Lord sees, and the Lord hears, and He knows these secret tears. and He is all that matters. everything else has passed away. I have nothing, nothing but Him...and I am fine with that.